Your 4-Step Goal Setting and Action Planning Blueprint for Transforming Your Life

This isn’t about ticking boxes.

It’s about creating goals that actually mean something—that fire you up, fit your values, and provide a clear plan to navigate the messy middle.

Here’s how you can reframe their approach to setting goals and taking action without burning out or spinning their wheels.

Step 1: Anchor Your Goals in What Really Matters (Values-Driven Vision)

When goals are disconnected from values, motivation dries up. That’s why lasting change starts from within—not with a to-do list but with a truth list.

Traditional goal-setting skips this step.

But, research shows the most fulfilling and energising goals come from a deep connection to personal values—not obligations or external expectations.

To get clear, ask yourself:

• What are the moments in my past that made me feel most alive, most like me?
• What do I want more of in my life—not just achievements, but feelings?

These feelings often point to your Shadow Values®—the emotional needs driving your decisions under the surface. Maybe you think you want more time, but what you’re actually craving is freedom. Or perhaps you want to pivot careers, but what’s really at stake is your identity and desire to feel seen.

Try this:

• Identify your top 5 values and then ask: What feeling do each of these values give me?
• Use those feelings as your compass. Goals grounded in these will feel like fuel, not friction.

Bonus insight: Knowing your Shadow Values® and their hierarchy gives you the power to transform anything—because they override even survival instincts when tapped correctly.

Step 2: Set Emotionally Charged, Brain-Friendly Goals (Not Just SMART)

You’ve likely set SMART goals before—but what you need now are goals that stretch you just enough to feel thrilling, not clinical.

• Specific + Measurable + Time-bound → Yes, but also…
• Risky: It should feel like a leap, not a checkbox.
• Exciting: If the thought of it doesn’t light something up inside, it won’t survive long-term pressure.
• Relevant: Not to who you were, but who you’re becoming.

Also, your brain responds better to toward goals than away goals.

Saying, “I don’t want to feel burnt out anymore”, keeps you anchored to the past.

Flip it: “I’m building a consultancy that lets me work 3 days a week and pick my kids up from school.”

Try this:

• Reframe every goal using this format: I will [specific action] by [date], so I can [emotionally resonant outcome].
• Visualise the end state in detail: where are you? What does your day look like? What’s changed in your energy?

And remember, keep the number of goals small. The brain holds just 3–4 active goals well—anything more is white noise.

Step 3: Remove Resistance and Make It Stick (WOOP + SCARF + Top-Down)

This is where most goal-setting systems fall short: they ignore internal resistance.

Hard fact: No tactic will stick if you haven’t dealt with your subconscious roadblocks.

That’s where tools like WOOP and Top-Down Transformation come in.

Start with WOOP:

• Wish: What do I want?
• Outcome: What would it feel like to have it?
• Obstacle: What’s in me that might get in the way?
• Plan: If that shows up, then I’ll do this.

Pair that with Top-Down Transformation:

1. Values first – If your goals conflict with your values (e.g., freedom vs. people-pleasing), you’ll stay stuck.
2. Emotions next – Unprocessed fear, regret, anger? It leaks into your decisions.
3. Then beliefs – Reframe limiting beliefs after you’ve dealt with emotional blocks.

This ensures you’re not trying to build new habits over old resistance.

Also, apply the SCARF model (David Rock): Your brain thrives when it feels secure. Goals that increase your sense of Autonomy, Certainty, Status, Relatedness, and Fairness will feel safe to pursue—and safety matters when you’re rebuilding at midlife.

Try this:

• Use WOOP to plan your response to known obstacles.
• Ask: “Which SCARF triggers are being activated by this change?”
• Notice where internal resistance comes from—then work through it in that Top-Down order.

Step 4: Convert Vision into Momentum (GROW Model + Support)

It’s time to act once the vision is clear and resistance is low.

The GROW coaching model helps turn ideas into action:

• Goal: What’s the big picture?
• Reality: Where are you starting from?
• Options: What are all the ways forward?
• Will: What are you committed to doing this week?

It’s deceptively simple but highly effective—especially when revisited regularly.

Finally, add accountability:

• Don’t rely on willpower alone. That fades.
• Join a community, hire a coach, or partner with someone on the same path.

Try this:

• Review your GROW structure monthly: Is your action plan still aligned?
• Set weekly intentions that match your energy and capacity.
• Surround yourself with people who support your reinvention—not question it.

Small, consistent actions are better than huge, unsustainable bursts. Build momentum that honours your nervous system, not just your calendar.