Step 1: Understand What You Want to Address

Before your session, take some time to reflect on why you’re seeking therapy.

A great way to do this is by jotting down notes about your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours over the past few weeks or days. You don’t need to write pages of detail – even a few bullet points in a notebook or a quick note on your phone can help. For example, you might note that you’ve been feeling overwhelmed at work, snapping at your kids in the evenings, or lying awake at night with racing thoughts. Tracking these patterns in simple terms will give you a clearer picture of what’s bothering you and help you explain these issues to your Psychologist when you meet.

Next, try to set a few goals for therapy. Ask yourself what you hope to gain from the sessions.

• Do you want to learn coping skills for stress?
• Improve your mood or reduce anxiety?
• Communicate better with your partner or children?

Setting clear goals can guide your therapy and keep you motivated. In fact, research shows that goal-setting in treatment can boost your motivation and lead to better outcomes. Your goals don’t have to be extremely specific – they could be as broad as “feel less overwhelmed” or “find time for myself without guilt.” The important thing is that they give you and your Psychologist a sense of direction.

One helpful exercise is to consider the “miracle question.” Imagine that a miracle happens tonight while you’re asleep, and all the problems that bring you to therapy are solved. When you wake up tomorrow, how would you know something changed? What would be different about your day? This classic question encourages you to picture an ideal outcome. For instance, you might wake up feeling refreshed and calm instead of anxious. Your morning routine with the kids might go smoothly, and you drive to work feeling confident. Thinking through these changes highlights what really matters to you – perhaps it’s having calmer mornings, more patience, or feeling in control at work. Sharing this vision with your Psychologist can help them understand your hopes and tailor the sessions to your needs.

Summary for Step 1: Go into your first session with a basic idea of the issues you want to discuss and what you’d love to achieve. You might bring a short list of “things I want to change or improve” and examples of times when you struggled most. Don’t worry about it being perfect – your Psychologist will guide you. The aim is to start the conversation in a meaningful way.

Step 2: Practical Considerations

Now that you’ve considered what you want to address, it’s time to handle the practical details of therapy. This step involves sorting out logistics and personal preferences.

Budget and Scheduling: First, consider your budget for therapy. Consider what you can realistically afford per session and how often you might go (weekly sessions are standard to start). Check if your health insurance covers therapy or, if you’re in Australia, see if you qualify for a Mental Health Care Plan from your GP (which can subsidise some sessions). If cost is a concern, explore options like sliding scale fees (many Psychologists adjust rates based on income) or community and online counselling services that charge less. The key is to find an option that fits your financial situation so you can attend consistently without added money stress.

Next, plan the scheduling. If you’re busy, schedule a time when you won’t be rushed or worrying about the kids – maybe arrange childcare or get your partner’s help during that hour. Also, pick a time of day when you have decent energy. A morning or lunch-hour session might work better if you’re exhausted in the evenings. It’s usually best to avoid doing therapy at the tail end of an extremely long, tiring day. And if you can, give yourself a little buffer before and after the session. Having a few minutes beforehand to collect your thoughts and some time afterwards to decompress can help you process the experience. Therapy involves a lot of talking and can be tiring.

Psychologist Preferences: Consider what kind of Psychologist might make you most comfortable. Psychologists vary in gender, age, cultural background, and style, and it’s okay to have preferences. Some people feel more at ease with a female or male Psychologist or someone with similar backgrounds or values. Also, consider your preferred therapy style: maybe you’d like a warm, empathetic counsellor who mainly listens or a more direct coaching style that gives you active feedback and homework. There’s no wrong answer – it’s about what you think will help you open up and stay engaged. Also, decide if you’d like in-person or online sessions. Online therapy can save travel time and let you attend from home, while in-person sessions provide face-to-face connection and a change of scenery.

Choose what feels right for you.

Summary for Step 2: Take care of the practical details. Figure out how you’ll pay for therapy (and use any insurance or support available), pick a time that fits your life, and consider the kind of Psychologist and setting where you’d feel most at ease. By handling these details now, you’ll have fewer distractions when it’s time for your first session.

Step 3: Initial Contact

You’ve clarified your goals and sorted out the practical stuff – now it’s time to reach out and set up that first appointment. Making initial contact with a Psychologist might feel intimidating, but remember: Psychologists are used to new clients, and they know you might be nervous.

If you’ve found a Psychologist you’re interested in, see if they offer a free phone consultation (many do, often 10–15 minutes). This is a chance to speak briefly, ask questions, and understand their personality. Suppose no phone consult is listed, or you’re unsure. In that case, you can always email to ask—introduce yourself, mention you’re considering therapy, and ask whether they offer a quick phone chat or if you can ask a few questions by email instead. Most Psychologists will happily reply and guide you through the following steps.

This is a chance to ask questions and understand their personality. It’s perfectly okay to approach a couple of Psychologists before deciding—you want someone who seems like a good match.

In this intro, you don’t have to go into deep detail; share a quick overview of why you’re seeking help (“I’m a working parent feeling burnt out and anxious, and I want to manage stress better,” for example). Then, see how they respond. Do they seem empathetic? Do they answer your questions clearly? Trust your instincts to decide whether you might click with this person.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions during a consult call or in an initial email. You are interviewing the Psychologist to see if they’re right for you. Here are some questions you might consider:

• “What are your fees, and do you offer a sliding scale?” – Knowing the cost upfront and learning about any flexible pricing is essential.
• “What is your approach, and what is a typical session like?” – Psychologists have different methods (some are more structured, some more open-ended). This gives you an idea of what to expect and whether it suits you.
• “Do you have experience helping people with issues like mine?” – It’s reassuring to know the Psychologist has worked with others facing similar challenges. For example, you could ask if they have experience with stressed-out parents or whatever your primary concern is.
• “When are you available to meet?” – Make sure their schedule aligns with yours (for instance, if you need evening appointments after the kids are in bed).

If you have any other priorities or concerns, also bring them up. For instance, if you strongly prefer video sessions over in-person or have specific goals you want to focus on, let the Psychologist know. Also, feel free to ask about their credentials or qualifications if that isn’t clear from their profile. A qualified Psychologist will be happy to share their professional background.

Asking these questions isn’t pushy – it’s being an informed client. Psychologists appreciate when clients are proactive and engaged. By the end of this initial contact (or contacts, if you speak to a few Psychologists), you should have an appointment set and a sense that this person is someone you can talk to. If something feels off, it’s okay to look for someone else. You want a Psychologist who makes you feel comfortable and understood from the start.